Influencer: Mama Bear Edition - Sunny Haynes
"A mom who may be warm and lovable but yet has a savage side when it's necessary to protect her cubs," is what the term "mother bear" refers to.
This word perfectly describes Sunny Haynes (The North American Mama Bear 2022).
Sunny expands on the Mama Bear Title, what being a Mama Bear means to her, and her lovely family life in this interview.
There is Nothing Like a Mama Bear.
It was an accident. So after my children grew up and flew the nest, my husband and I started getting involved with the kink community. That led us to leather where we met the Knight Hawks and the Va Bear crew. After getting to know us and our story the members started to lovingly refer to me as Mama. At first I was taken aback because I wanted to be seen as a peer, who was a woman and sexual being. I felt I had mothered seven kids and I was ready to be a woman in the community. It took me a while to accept the title of Mama as a loving, accepting, supportive member of the local community. Then I started to embrace it. The local Virginia Bear Crew awarded me the first ever Virginia Mama Bear title in 2020 because of my activism, advocacy and volunteerism in our local community. And I’ve never looked back.
I’ve had some mentors in kink, but not really in the mama bear community. There are not many of us mamas out here. So I did search out and watch what the mamas were doing, and emulated the example that was being set. The World Bear mamas, Brooklyn and Nikki, set the bar high. And the North American Mama, De’von, was also a leader that I looked up to. So after seeing the way they tackled the issues of their platforms and made sure to be supportive of their local community really lit my fire.
A mother bear, or a mama, are people who advocate for the souls in their local community. They are people who are activists for the issues affecting their local community. They are supportive of the local community and always try to lift up the community. Ask of this is while they are protecting the souls within the community from everything trying to beat our community down. We are a fierce bunch of folks who don’t know how to quit.
Thank you so much. It’s an honor to have been selected. I used my local title to help fight for protections of the LGBTQIA+ community on a state level. I’ve worked with Equality Virginia and the Human Rights Campaign to get non-discrimination protections in place on the state level. And I’m proud to announce that Virginia is the first, not the last, southern state in the country to enact these protections. So I thought what’s the best way to move this to the federal level and get protections for all the LGBTQIA+ souls nationally? Well a national level title will help with that. So I entered my application with the goal to unite more people from across North America to help fight to get us these protections.
So the Virginia Mama Bear title is awarded based on activism, advocacy, volunteerism and support of our local LGBTQIA+ community. But the North American Mama Bear title was a competition. So I had to prepare 4 looks, create 2 skits and sell a boat load of raffle tickets and donate a gift basket that served as my entry fee.
“Oh my gosh, girl don’t fall off the stage” was my main goal. I was focused and riddled with nerves. But I was determined to put my best effort into this and see it through, win or lose.
It is such a blur honestly. I was shocked that I in fact did not fall off the stage, touched that I was found worthy to serve the title, proud that I had represented my community so well and humbled that I had touched souls with my platform.
I am fighting with the human rights campaign to get non-discrimination protections for everyone in the LGBTQIA+ community. As we see more and more states turn against our community it just shows that our endeavor will be hard fought but it’s necessary so that we can thrive in the open and have equal rights as others.
Get out there and do the work. Our communities need strong people who can carry the load to fight for what we believe in and what affects our local communities. Be there every step of the way. Ask the local groups what they need done then get it done. And don’t ask for praise, ask for the next endeavor. Love those who feel the world hates them. Be inviting to this who feel left out. Fight for the ones who feel they have no voice.
I am proud to talk about my family dynamic.
My husband, Michael, and myself are both bisexual people. We we have raised 7 beautiful souls who we were blessed to have as our children. Now our children seem to cover most of the Rainbow. We have a gay child, a couple of bi children and a trans child. The rest of our children identify as straight, and we love them just the same.
I am treated differently being a bisexual by every community. Some see us as not queer enough for the queer community. Some see us as too queer for the straight community. Some are scared that we will try to have sex with their spouses. It’s the truly open minded and loving folks that see that I’ve chosen a partner, not a team. And the truly enlightened ones understand that being bisexual doesn’t make you greedy, or a fence rider and that I’m not in a phase. I truly don’t care what gender a person is, if we vibe then we vibe. And I pray that the closed minded ones learn to embrace their bisexual community members better. Don’t let us be erased by the community by ignoring that we exist. We need our community as much as it needs us.
Mama Bear Speaks
I would love to. I came out to my family at 14 as a young gay woman. And I had partnered up with my first queer person and I was having a blast living my best life. A year later, my partner and I had met a young straight man who just appealed to us both. We spoke to each other about the situation and were confused. We were gay women. What is this feeling we were both having? In our confusion we both approached my sisters and explained our situation we found ourselves in. They were tickled at how naive both were and sat us down. They explained the sexual orientations as they existed at that point in time and helped us understand that there was nothing abnormal about us. We took that information, experimented with the young man we had met and found our freedom in our truth. And I’ve never regretted my journey or the steps I’ve taken along the way.
This has to be one of the most loving, accepting, and supportive communities I’ve ever been a part of. They will hype each other up, cheer them on and apply love when a soul is in despair. I’ve never felt more loved in a community than I do in the bear community
Racial prejudice. I’ve seen my fair share of dating profiles that say no blacks, no Asians. And then they defend it with “it’s a preference”
Nah, that’s not a preference my friend, that’s a prejudice. And as a community who has always policed itself, we can do better. Acknowledge it for what it is and tackle the subject head on. Education is the key here, as prejudice views are born out of ignorance.
Expression Of My Personality
I love reading, sci-fi and fantasy are my genres of choice. And right now I’m pretty deep into gaming on my Nintendo switch.
The world is cruel, always choose to fight it with love.
Pajamas, snacks, good company and a group game.
Don’t hate me, I don’t believe in heroes. Everyone is human and they all make mistakes. So by putting someone on a pedestal we are elevating them to a level that mistakes are not permitted then we as a community them apart because they make one. There are people that I admire, like Lady Wolfe, Violette Femmme, Ms. Pebbles, Ms. Oshun, Nikki Wireman, Blue Wolfe, Lady D, Mama Vi, Sarah, Fidgett, De’von, girl beffani, Penny, Bumper Bootblack, Angel Marie, Deb Rose, Toni Bear, Ms. Sydney, Ms. Karen, Despoena, Gretchen, Glenda, Briar Wood and more. I feel they humbly serve the community with honor while being kick ass folks in our community and that’s a quality that I admire.
seeing all of my children have the same rights as each other, despite their racial and identity differences.
Special Thanks
I want to thank Sunny Haynes for taking the time and making the effort to do this interview with me.
I'm glad to get the chance to speak with her in-depth and find out more about her personal life, the community, and her Mama Bear side.
